from the mouths of babes...

Tonight I spent the evening with my cousin, her daughter, and her son (my godson).  Her husband was at the Cavs game with his dad for his birthday, so we got to have some girl time.  Remember how I said that my goals had to be realistic and things that are (in theory) in my control?  Well, if I could make my goals whatever I wanted, I would have my goal be that by the time I am 30 I have a few siblings.  I am the lonely an only child, and always wanted siblings.  Of course, my mom says that if I were to have siblings I would probably hate it.  And maybe she is right, but who knows?  There is something about being a sister to someone, to being an aunt.  I will never get to have those experiences, no matter what goal list I add them to.  But when God wasn't busy giving me siblings, he was definitely giving me amazing cousins.  And an amazing godson.  He certainly does provide!

But while God does provide, He also takes...Sometimes the reasons for both the giving and the taking away are crystal clear.  And sometimes the reasons seem clear as mud.  God might take things away when we are miserable, when we are happy as can be, or when we are simply content.  He might give us things just when we need it, when we think we can't handle anymore, or when we didn't even know we needed it.  It just isn't our call. 

Tonight I was feeding my godson his bottle, and he finished it so quickly!  I couldn't believe how quickly he had eaten nearly 6 ounces.  When I took the empty bottle away and burped him, he began to cry.  I didn't understand why, that was the amount he usually ate to be satisfied.  My cousin did the "finger test" by his face to see if he rooted for more, and found that he seemed to still be hungry.  She prepared him another bottle, but while she was doing so, my godson continued to cry.  I couldn't explain to him that I took the empty bottle away because sucking air would give him a tummy ache, and I couldn't make him understand that his mom was making him another bottle and that everything would be okay soon.  He knew that he was hungry.  Now. 

And that's how it is sometimes with us.  We think God took our bottle away and left us unsatisfied.  We get upset, even angry.  We might even feel so abandoned in our hunger that we cry ourselves to sleep, and even when God comes back with a full bottle, we turn our heads away, sure that we will remain as unsatisfied as we were before.  Sometimes when God takes our heart's desire away, it's because he is preparing for us something more, something better.  And while he is making preparations for us, he is also preparing us for what is to come. 

So, today I give thanks to God.  I give thanks for all that He has given me, for all that He has taken from me, and for all that is to come.  I promise to not grow bitter, to not turn my head.  I will trust, be patient, and have faith.  Because I know that whatever is to come is far better than anything I could have put together on my own.  Who knew that at just over a month old, my godson could be teaching me such amazing lessons...