quick update for posterity

My Dirty Thirty


1.) Ride a horse.

2.) Skydive.

3.) Ride in a hot air balloon.

4.) Make a donation to my alma mater greater than $500.

5.) Move out.

6.) Acquire my passport.

7.) Get it stamped.

8.) Spend New Years in New York City.

9.) See the Grand Canyon,

10.) Kiss the Blarney Stone.

11.) Learn to knit/crochet.

12.) Make something with said skill.

13.) Make one of the Dave Matthews Band pilgrimages (the Gorge, Red Rocks, Charlottesville)

14.) Get certified in project management.

15.) Read the Bible.

16.) Start a 403B or some other retirement savings plan.

17.) Visit the 4 corners.

18.) Give Pride and Prejudice another chance.

19.) Take golf lessons.

20.) Be debt free.

21.) Read the entire Narnia series.

22.) See a Broadway show.

23.) Take some sort of class that is fine art related.

24.) Take a cooking class.

25.) Go on a weekend trip with my mom.

26.) Visit Cooperstown.

27.) Find the Little Black Dress that I can count on.

28.) Start or join a book club.

29.) Begin and complete a cross stitch.

30.) Find a place to volunteer on a regular basis.

roses are red...

and mojitos have green in them...

girls night out + danny = <3

not feeling it...

so i'll steal it from someone who says it far better than i ever could...


i believe that everything happens for a reason. people change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things fall together. 
~ marilyn monroe


and in this i will find solace.

but not a real green dress, that's cruel

going to barenaked ladies with my parents tonight.  saying i'm excited would be an understatement.  we have been following this band as a family since i was a kid.  looking forward to a great night with dan king and sarah (sally)...

why?

as i was running tonight, with my bffs mr. hudson and jay-z, natch, i began writing in my head.  this is definitely not uncommon.  however what followed can best be described as just that.  this is because i began to cry.  i'm not often a crier.  of course, i actually cried twice today, but once was because of a story that my friend amy told me that is a totally different blog altogether...but cry i did. 


people have been asking me why i am running the susan g komen this september.  a lot.  and to be honest, i never really have an answer.  "why not" is actually a common response...but tonight as i was running i began thinking about why i'm doing this.  why ask people for money when times are tough and people are struggling.  why ask people to pray for me when there are many more pressing issues in this world far more in need or worthy of prayer than me running 3 miles.  why ask people to come out and support me when there are a million better things to do on a saturday morning.  and then i realized.  one month from tomorrow i will be waking up and going downtown to run 3.1 miles.  and i know the thoughts that will be going through my head.  i know why i am doing this.

I'm doing it for this little girl.  This sassy, darling, dancing little girl.

I'm doing it for this little girl. This hilarious, sweet, loves to share little girl.

And I'm doing it for this little girl. This smart, creative, loving little girl.

and so that is why i have the courage to ask for donations.  that is why i have the humility to ask for prayers.  and that is why i have the strength to ask for support.  because of these three little girls.  they made me realize how capable i am of loving someone.  how it is possible to care about someone so much more than yourself.  and that it is important to leave the world better than you found it, because someone far more worthy than yourself is going to inherit that world from you some day.  i want these girls to grow up in a world that is safe and filled with the promise of a long, healthy life.  i want cancer to be in the archaic word box with typewriter, the pet rock, and beta.  breast cancer is for the history books, not for these little girls.  and that is why i'm doing what i'm doing.

fear not when, fear not why,

fear not much while we're alive,

life is for living not living up tight,

see ya somewhere up in the sky,

fear not die, i'll be alive for a million years, bye bye,

so not for legends, i'm forever young

my name shall survive

~jay-z, young forever

to support me in the 2010 susan g komen race for the cure, please click here

the grass is (not) always greener

part 1:
the best advice i have ever been given goes this way:

say everyone (at work/in your family/that you're friends with/in the world) sat in a circle.  they were then instructed to throw their biggest problem/burden/struggle into the middle of the circle.  each person is given a chance to see each problem/think about them/ponder them.  then each person is instructed to pick one problem and walk away from the circle with it.  the moral of this anecdote is that, more often than not, everyone will leave the circle carrying the same problem with which they entered the circle.

part 2:
i have found that people in my life either know that i am a very faith-ful person and am both religious and spiritual, or have zero idea that i am this kind of person.  i take responsibility for this.  for as much as my faith is a huge part of my life, i struggle with the charge to go out into the world to create disciples or sharing my faith with people who i do not already know to be like minded.  however, i do work to make God the center of my life, Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior, and i do believe  in the life everlasting.  that all being said...

i completely believe in free will.  i think that God knows what decision we are going to make because He knows our hearts, not because he pre-determined it.  also, i think that God knows what we can handle, and what we think we can handle, and He has a penchant for pushing limits.  and that takes me back the moral white elephant gift exchange of sorts from above.  the grass is not necessarily always greener.  and even if it is, it may not be shade of green that suits us best.

the reason why all of those people in that circle walk away with their problems is because, even if they are scary/scandalous/difficult/awful/shameful, they are the problems that we were equipped by God to handle.  they are the proverbial crosses that we were cultivated to carry.  we choose our problems because we've been there, done that, and know we have lived to tell the tale.  the problems that others have, well, we haven't passed that test yet.

and we also only know what we see...a family/relationship/job/situation that may seem like a dream come true on the outside may in actuality be a nightmare.  i have found that there are often two types of people, or at least that people tend to lean toward one way over the other.  there are those who like to keep up appearances with their best foot forward at all times presenting a facade of living the dream whether they actually are or not, and those who like to play the pity card, the woe is me card, the drama card.

i find it interesting the people who are woven into the textile of my life.  i have been blessed to be befriended by fantastically strong, faith-filled, insightful, women who support me in my life, my dreams, my successes, my failures.  conversely, i have been "be-enemied" by women who may be insecure, jealous, malicious, or just plain old bitchy.  i have dated boys who are kind, loving, funny, supportive and intelligent.  conversely, i have dated boys who are liars, cheaters, manipulators, and just plain lazy.  i am sure this cacophony of characters is something that many can relate to...knowing people who we are humbled just by being in the presence of, and people who make us wonder what we did to piss God of so badly that He felt we needed such a force in our worlds...but these people are just the beginning of what equips us to tackle adversity.  in these people we have the experience in facing evil, and the support system to get through it...and so i am grateful for every positive experience that i have had because it keeps me strong.  and i am grateful for every negative experience that i have had because it makes me stronger.

and because of all of this, i'm content on my side of the fence.  more than content.  pleased.  happy.  satisfied.  and i hope that you are, too.

1 Corinthians 10:13 (new international version)

no temptation has seized you except what is common to man. and God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. but when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

verde....

...and rojo, and azul, and amarillo, and blanco...

kellan knows quite a bit of spanish.  the colors listed above his just a portion of his repertoire...he can count and also knows the word for car (coche) and a few others.  i tried to teach him some more while we were together, particularly words for family members and animals.  i don't know how much he retained, but i hope at least a little bit.  i have always loved speaking spanish and have been able to keep a bit of the language in my arsenal.  i am by no means fluent at all, but i think it is important for kids to learn spanish.  and, gosh, they are like sponges.  now is the best time for kel to possibly delve into the world of learning a second language.

my favorite part of him learning spanish is the "spanglish" that he is developing.  while turning the couch into a jeep liberty, and later a ford ranger, he explained that he would need "dos or tres pieces of tape."  at the zoo he told me about the "negro and blanco monkey."  i then tried to add the word mono to his bag of tricks as well.  he is definitely able to integrate his growing vocabulary into his day to day conversations, and it cracks me up.  i also got a kick out of him calling me "tia jessy."  the kid is a riot. a so unbelievably intelligent riot.

his spanglish is especially impressive to me because it shows he knows what the words mean, and that they are for all intents and purposes interchangeable with their english counterparts.  he knows that dos or tres means the same thing as two or three.  it isn't a completely separate entity, or a vocabulary card trick.  he has truly made meaning of knowing these words and has connected them to his world.


kellan is the first kid that as an adult i have gotten to watch grow up first hand.  i am so excited to see how is knowledge base, personality, and general being grows and develops when he begin kindergarten this fall.  but it is hard to believe that kindergarten is around the bend...seems like only yesterday...

then...

and now...

green trees, blue skies, and blue eyes

kellan and i had a fabulous day at the zoo with some of our pals

avocado green

one of my most favorite things in the world is guacamole.  i love to go to a local restaurant called zocalo where they make fresh guacamole, right at your table.  chipotle also has fantastic chips and guacfor me, the spicier the better.  in case you aren't able to make it to zocalo for some custom guacamole, below is my go-to recipe if i'm making guac at home.

• 2 ripened avocados
• 1/4 minced onion
• 1 clove minced garlic
• 1/2 - 1 jalapeño pepper, minced with the seeds removed
• 1/2 Tbsp cilantro chopped
• juice from 1 lime
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1/8 tsp freshly grated pepper

cut the avocado in half long ways.  you can either scoop the pit out with a spoon or if you give the pit a good whack with the blade of a knife, it should stick and come right out.  scoop out the avocado mash it down, as chunky or as creamy as you prefer it in a bowl.  add the other ingredients and stir.  you can eat it with tortilla chips, on top of a veggie burger, or on a taco or fajitas.  or anything else, really.  guacamole is just that fantastic.  or, as my good friend backpack says, yum yum yum delicioso!

tractors are red, crops are green

and so our topic for today is tractors.  while this may be a topic that seems (and truly is) outside of my realm of expertise, i do in fact have an opinion.  you see, bowling green, ohio is home to the national tractor pull.  while i have had the privilege of attending this event only once, it was an experience that i will carry with me always.

when i moved to bowling green i fell fast and hard for all things northwest ohio.  i loved the quiet peace that comes from having one's own share of land, i wanted to marry a farmer, and i love me some tractors.  i didn't fall hard for those pretentious green john deere tractors.  no, no, no, crops are green.  tractors need not be green.  in my world, tractors are red.

part of this is influenced by the guidance of one mrs. amy sheldrick, a farmer's wife, and quite frankly, all that i truly aspire to be.  she is a ginger, taboot.  at least her husband says she is.  and quite frankly, i love me some dan sheldrick, and whatever he says is gospel to me.  and this family says tractors are red.

one weekend in august each year, bowling green becomes known as pulltown.  coincidentally, this typically falls on the same weekend as move in for students at bgsu, so the town is doubly infiltrated by outsiders/non-townies.  the tractor pull is truly an unbelievable experience.  there are contests for for 4 and 2-wheel drive, mods, semis, pro stock, etc.  each category has very specific criteria that competitors must subscribe to.  and it truly is an experience.  an unexplainable, fantastic, memorable experience.

a fav red tractor, "never satisfied" 

so while i may not have married a farmer or gotten myself some land, i do love me some national tractor pull.  but i'll cheer for my red tractors, not those stinky green ones, thank you very much.

for more information about the national tractor pull visit the NTPC website.

the bama GREEN project

the bama green project is an environmental philanthropy between reverb, izstyle, and the dave matthews band.  the organization celebrates the environmentally conscious behaviors of dmb members and also serves to educate dmb fans around the world on being green.

at dmb concerts, fans have the opportunity to purchase bama green stickers for $5.  by taking the sticker to the bama green tent inside the venue, fans are able to receive a free water bottle and either coupon for a free burrito or for free ben and jerry's ice cream.  throughout the venue are several brita water filter stations where fans are able to refill their water bottles with clean, fresh, filtered water.  there is also information available at the tent about being more environmentally conscious, from supplying information on recycling to encouraging fans to carpool to shows.

the band is also taking steps to reduce their own carbon footprint.  band members drink from reusable water bottles, promote recycling and waste reduction, and use biodiesel fueling on all of their tour buses.  many t-shirts and other merchandise is made of organic cotton and even recycled materials.  according to the reverb.org website, "dmb fans neutralized over 4.8 million pounds of co2" simply by carpooling to shows and recycling cell phones.

for more information about this effort, visit the bama project.

bowling GREEN

so there are a few places in my life that i hold in the highest of esteem.  my short list of favorites include santa monica ca, savannah ga, and nashville tn.  these are places that i have visited for short periods of time and felt a connection to.  i have enjoyed my time there, continued to follow what goes on in those places, and look forward to one day returning.  there is, however, one place that i thought i would be visiting for a short period of time and ended up staying.  and staying again.  this place truly feels like home to me.  i get nostalgic when i think about it, teary when i talk about it, and emotional when i write about it.  this place is bowling green oh.

leon bibb, the celebrated cleveland news anchor, bowling green alum, and former trustee of the university once said, "my life really began anew at the age of 17 when i came to this plot of land called bowling green."  and, quite frankly, i couldn't agree more.  i, too, was a kid of 17 when i first came to bgsu.  and i have never been the same.  in bowling green i found a second home, a second family, and friends that i will treasure always.

i arrived at bowling green a spanish major, confident that i would one day work for major league baseball teaching all of the spanish-speaking players english.  i often shared an anecdote about julian tavarez, a one-time cleveland indian who ate only chicken for an extensive period of time because this was the one of the few english words he knew.  i was excited about this vocation.  i had plans of learning other languages, finding ways to cross cultures and change the world through language and communication.  however, per usual, another plan existed, one far better than my own could ever have been.

and it was all up hill from there.  i became a journalism major, a resident advisor, and a falcon for life.  i stayed on at bowling green for two masters degrees in addition to my undergraduate degree.  i was a house mom for delta tau delta fraternity, active in dance marathon, and held an internship at the wellness connection that remains one of the most important parts of my life, mostly because of the life lessons i learned and the life-long friendships that i made, in addition to the professional experience.

i still go back to bowling green from time to time.  it used to be difficult.  i think that was because i did not feel like i found where i fit into the world outside of bowling green.  to go back was to belong.  and to leave was to feel out of place.  but now i am able to go back and feel happy, safe, and enjoy the memories that i am surrounded by.

often when i go into town i do my trip down memory lane.  i will drive past kreischer where i lived my sophomore, junior, and senior years as a resident advisor.  i will then drive past mcdonald, my freshman year res hall.  i will loop down south college past a house i lived in for two years, and then drive down clough past the fraternity house.  i like to walk around campus.  walk through the library to see if the kids working the desk are doing their jobs properly.  go through the union and see what art work is on display and if there are any new hoodies in the bookstore.  i love to have lunch at el zarape or take some pollyeyes breadsticks home for my family.

campus has changed a lot since i left.  saddlemire, the big round building, is no longer.  rodgers hall has since been torn down, and i have heard that mcdonald is also slated for demolition down the road.  there will be a new basketball arena, new residence halls, and new academic buildings.  and while it makes me sad that i won't have that same familiarity with the campus, it makes me proud because my university is growing, needs additional space, and has the funding to do that.

i wish that everyone could be so fortunate to have such a positive university experience.  to find a place that just clicked.  i loved, learned, and lost while there.  i was challenged and changed, hurt and healed while i was there.  there are many places that i have enjoyed visiting, but in bowling green i indeed found a second home.

alma mater, hear us,

as we praise thy name,

make us worthy sons and daughters

adding to thy fame.

time will treat you kindly,

years from now you'll be

ever dearer in our hearts,

our university.

from your halls of ivy,

to the campus scene,

chimes ring out with gladness

for our dear bowling green.

when all is just a mem'ry

of the bygone days,

hear our hymn, dear alma mater, 

as thy name we praise.

jaded

in a former life i dated a boy who was obsessed with songs that had the word "jaded" in them.  he had a laundry list.  a top fav was runaway train by soul asylum.  jaded, by aerosmith, an obvious choice, was not found on his list of loves.  i'm not sure what his fascination was with the word, but he loved it.  and nearly 10 years after the demise of our relationship, every time i hear the word i think of him.

per the good people of the freedictionary.com, jaded means the following:

jad·ed  (jdd) adj.

1. Worn out; wearied: "My father's words had left me jaded and depressed" (William Styron).

2. Dulled by surfeit; sated: "the sickeningly sweet life of the amoral, jaded, bored upper classes" (John Simon).

3. Cynically or pretentiously callous.

i find this fantastic because i left the relationship feeling pretty jaded.  i was worn out.  wearied.  i was dulled.  callous and cynical.  i'm not anymore.  at least not in context to the relationship.  time has a funny way of easing the pain, dulling the memory, reinvigorating belief in love and positive relationships.  but, for awhile, jaded i was.  

after extensive research a google search, i have found that there seems to be no connection between the word jaded in the context above and the stone jade, which is green.  this is unfortunate because i was really hoping that there was.  however, the post began before the research, as all good dissertations do, and so on i will continue.

what takes you back to a past relationship, romantic or otherwise?  we all have our triggers.  i have been told on numerous occasions that don't stop believing specifically and journey as a whole often serve as reminders of me, as does dave matthews.  there are places, songs, movies, scents that will inextricably link my mind to specific people until my memory is no longer.  music is by far the greatest trigger in my life.  i sometimes pretend feel like there is a soundtrack to my life.  

and it is difficult, because i do not necessarily believe that these connections serve some hidden deep agenda of perpetual love, involvement, or association.  but the mind is an insane thing that way.  who knows what can jog the memory and what that memory will be of!  and for every memory like this that we have of others, there is a memory someone has of us.  a little awkward, a little comforting.  this is one of the things i enjoy most about relationships and communication...the constant reciprocation of impact and influence.  for better or for worse.  i have learned more from relationships that i have been involved in about what i do NOT want than what i actually DO hope to experience in future relationships.  and that's okay by me...a lesson is still learned, impact is felt, and the experience is worth it.  and as a really smart kid once told me, the juice is worth the squeeze...all the hurt, all the happiness, all love, all the passion, all the anger, all the laughs...it's all worth it because it brings you to where you are in the present...so while i don't love the fact that words, songs, etc.  remind me of people that i don't necessarily want to think about, they brought me to where i am today.  and that juice is definitely worth the squeeze.  and it is nothing to be jaded about at all.

green...wicked green...

so nablopomo's theme for august is green, and i'm pretty stoked about that fact.  i feel inspired, excited, and full of ideas.  let's hope that momentum continues as the month progresses!

the first thing i think of when i think of green is the show wicked, as i saw it last night with my cousin carron.  (you know, green like the wicked witch, natch!)  we saw it at the beautiful ohio theater in columbus.  i tried to read the novel that the show is based on a few years back but was not able to get through it.  i have also been hearing rave reviews of the show for years.  i am a total wizard of oz girl, and just as much a theater girl, and had i expectations for the show.  i walked in with a fairly strong familiarity with much of the show's music and enough of an idea of the show to be prepared, but not so familiar where i knew exactly what to expect.  i will admit my expectations were high.  i know people who have seen it multiple times and who count it among their favorite shows ever.  i was confident i would quickly enter these same ranks.

and, sadly, i did not.  and, confusingly, i'm not sure why.

*SPOILER ALERT*

i really enjoyed the concept and found it very clever.  i'm a big fan of second chances and truly getting to know someone to better understand why they might behave the way that they do.  i think it was great to give the wicked witch a story, to make her seem more, well, human.  i enjoyed seeing how the cowardly lion came to be, and was proud of myself to "call" the evolution of the tin man.  i found it very cute that the witch and her man made of straw were able to come up with a scheme to save her life and share their lives together.  i loved GAlinda.  i thought she was cute and funny and fabulous.  i guess it was the stuff in the middle that got me down.  and, to be honest, the stuff in the middle was the stuff i wasn't familiar with. 

i know defying gravity, popular, and for good.  and for the most part i enjoyed how they were performed.  there were some stumbled lines, a few breathy lyrics, some notes cut short...but overall the singing was fine.  maybe my problem was being too familiar with these show stoppers and not familiar enough with the others.  after all, not all the songs can be winners...

i think a big struggle that i had was how the original oz was integrated in.  i wasn't able to accept some of the changes or connections that were made because they simply were not feasible.  (fantastic that in a story of fantasy i can't take a leap of faith, right!?)  the ideas were clever and well integrated, however they simply did not follow the timeline or the back stories integrated into the original oz, particularly the stories of the tin man and the scarecrow.  

i did enjoy the way that the silver/ruby slippers were brought into the story, as well as the ironic relationship between the wizard and elphaba.  but it's too bad that elphaba had to fake her own death and run away.  i mean, the girl had good ideas.  she wasn't afraid to rage against the machine and speak out.  but instead of continuing to fight for what is right, she ran away with her man to hide out for the rest of her life.  i guess i'm bummed that this show of fantasy had a truly honest and realistic ending.  if you're different, give up trying to change the world or make a difference.  instead, find someone you love who loves you back, and go hide out.  cause people are mean and judgmental and once someone has an agenda against you, it is unlikely that it will be put to rest unless it is because he or she was successful at said agenda.  i wish that elphaba could have made them realize that she was a good person, just misunderstood, and use her uniqueness to promote tolerance and understanding.  

overall, though, the show was good.  i was definitely in the unimpressed minority.  i really do think that a good portion of this is due to the fact that it was so unbelievably hyped up to me and i was told up and down how much i would love Love LOVE it.  also, once i found out that joey mcintyre and rue mcclanahan have appeared in wicked, and of course idina menzel originated the role of elphaba, i would like to see it again down the road and see how it is the second time around.  i would encourage anyone to see it who has the opportunity to do so.  and hopefully it will be more popular with you than it was with me!

the gladiator (very rough draft)

into the arena walks the gladiator,
shoulders back, head held high
determination in his stance,
eyes directed to the sky

as he steps into the sunlight,
see the scar upon his breast
no armor needed in this battle,
no shield across his chest

a silence falls o'er the crowd,
all is quiet and still
because if God cannot save him now,
surely nothing will

summoned to arena center,
he marches to his fight
left fist clenched across his chest,
a long sword in his right

the gladiator expects perfection,
his best effort must come forth
as he touches the scar he recalls in his mind,
that he has fought this war before

a fight like no other in history,
a battle never so fair
equal strength in mind and body,
opponents so perfectly paired

the battle is set to begin,
yet the crowd sees no one else
the gladiator fights alone today,
the opponent is himself

family TIES: part II (alternately titled: the snoop dogg review)

So, Dad and I went to Snoop Dogg on Thursday night.  And, as per usual, it was a scene. 

One of my favorite things about the House of Blues is that if you go there for dinner before the show, you are let into the concert venue before doors open.  While dinner usually ends up being pricy, it is worth it to be able to stake your claim on a decent view before everyone else.  Dad met me after work and we headed downtown to House of Blues.  Of course dinner began with:  

gin and juice.  While at dinner our waiter informed us that Snoop had decided to go to the Cavs game, so instead of going on at 8 PM, he would be going on at 11:20...It was a Thursday!  It was a work night!  But, we were on Eastern Standard Snoop Time, so we had to wait it out.

After dinner we went into the venue.  We found spots outside of the pit area along the railing and decided to perch there.  They showed a short film based on Snoop's new album, Malice n Wonderland.  The opening act was The Constellations.  I enjoy that they refer to themselves as "ghettotech".  They were a good opening act, very eclectic, broad spectrum of sound, and great stage presence.  While this band isn't necessarily who I would have anticipated opening for Snoop Dogg, I'm not really quite sure who I would have expected to...It's kind of a tough act to precede...

In the end, Snoop did not go on stage until 12 midnight.  So, essentially, we waited six hours for the show to begin.  While we were waiting I was blogging in my head.  Would I rant and rave?  Would I smile and say, "Oh, that Snoop, you know how he is!"  Should I have expected it from the beginning?  I mean, isn't that kind of part of the rap game?  The time that we spent waiting felt dangerous at times...People were rowdy and getting impatient.  People had plenty of time to get drunk.  There were people all around us being held up by their friends because they could no longer stand on their own, yet their friends refused to leave and not see the show.  However, it was one of the most diverse concerts crowd-wise that I have ever attended.  All races, colors, creeds, and genders love Snoop.  We had time to make friends with the people around us, as well as time to see some crazy stuff go down.  I was nervous that the venue would exceed capacity and then we would all be forced to leave.  I thought maybe he wouldn't show up at all.  I'm not going to lie, I was disappointed in him.  The perception I've always had of Snoop was that he was the Gentleman G...Sure he was raw, but he was real and respectful...I decided that I would let the experience of the performance determine my reaction.

And, after the performance, I decided it was all worth it.  He played (Who Am I?) What's My Name?  We gave props to Pac.  We dropped it like it was hot.  There were strippers (locals, even...)  It felt like when I saw BB King.  Felt like when I saw Kenny Wayne Shepherd.  Felt like when I saw Jean-Luc Ponty.  I was witnessing the person who is the best at what they do.  There is no schedule for that, no time frame.  I was in the presence of greatness with nearly a thousand of my drunkest closest friends...Would I go see Snoop again?  I don't know...But I'm glad that I did. 

                                     

family TIES part I (alternately titled: one reason why my dad is amazing)

One of the most significant ties that binds my family together is music.  For that reason, blogging will be pretty brief today...After work dad and I are heading to the Cleveland House of Blues to see Snoop Dogg.  I am sure to come back with stories :o)

realiTIES

So, for the most part I've never been a huge reality TV fan. At least I don't think so. I remember when Big Brother first came on TV, my dad was obsessed. I was in college when that show started and I remember there being a rule that I didn't call home on Big Brother nights. I'm not sure if it was a joke, but I never tested that theory out, just in case it wasn't.

I was never into the Bachelor or the Bachelorette, the Amazing Race, or Survivor. I just didn't get it. I would watch Dancing With the Stars sometimes because of my girl crush, but I was never a dedicated fan. Even with American Idol, I was never uber faithful. The Sing Off is probably the closest I came to a dedicated reality viewer, but that was mostly because of the Bubs. Love them.

I don't understand any of the shows on HGTV or Style. I did have a brief loyalty to Jon and Kate Plus Eight, but we all know how that turned out. I did love Tool Academy, but I found that it was because I was basically living the show, and when that reality struck I had to look away. That reality show was just a little too real for me...I don't keep up with the Kardashians and now that the girls that used to live next door got their acts together and moved out, I no longer know what is up with Bridget or Holly, though I do try to keep up with that crazy Kendra from time to time. I don't know what the flavor of love actually is, but judging by the premise you should probably get on antibiotics after you taste it...

However, there is one man whose reality (and fantasy) I am deeply concerned with and dedicated to. He is silly and brilliant and ridiculous and fun and that is why I am in love with Rob Dyrdek and his shows Rob and Big and Fantasy Factory.

He had me from the beginning. A cute boy from good ol' O-H-I-O living the Cali dream. A skateboarding bulldog, a hilarious sidekick, a cousin full of sass, and a pony that could destroy you. Rob has more money than a lot of people would know what to do with, but he figures it out. Sure he buys crazy outfits (super jacket) and ridiculous toys (net guns) but he also does amazing things like building Safe Spot Skate Spots (which are also sponsored by organizations such as Carl's Jr., but he does use his celebrity to promote the cause which is sometimes more valuable than cash), giving away his vehicle, and distributing hobo handouts.

Sometimes he is off his rocker. I mean, time travel? A cursed wooden creature that needs to be put in a chipper shredder? Destroying the bathroom because he thinks there are rats? But sometimes his insanity borders on genius. Or at least good entertainment. Draining the pool results in a pretty sweet mural.  Can an entire episode revolve around a puppy birthday party? Sure can! Who knew that going hunting for a "street turtle" for the turtle races would be fascinating?   But it is.  And he makes it that way.

But my favorite Rob moments typically involve him singing, dancing, or all of the above. He will break into song over anything...And I love it. My favorites include the net gun song and of course Dirty Girl (unless you're in Mexico, in which case it is Muchacha Sucia!) The guy is living life and loving it. In fact, he loved it so much that he had to build a factory to hold it together.

The Fantasy Factory is also a fantastic show that I love to watch. I love Chanel, Jeremy the manager, and seeing Drama grow into his own. It isn't uncommon to see Johnny Knoxville or Ryan Sheckler stopping by to pay a visit, and there is always a new toy, activity, or stunt in the mix. Rob Dyrdek is a branding and marketing dream. I am a 28-year-old girl who has nothing in common with this man excepting that we hail from the same state. In spite of that, he has won me over. His antics are hilarious, his personality is charming, his positivity is addicting. I'd love to work for him, be his personal assistant, keep the organization and flow going so that he could continue to do what he does best: live the fantasy. And because of that, of all of the realiTIES, Rob Dyrdek, you're my fav!

I'm not awesome enough to insert a video, but here is a link to my ABSOULTE FAV Rob Dyrdek moment...This is my go to...If I'm upset, in a bad mood, whatev, this is my sunshine!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okafjvbkXic

hair ties

I have a secret.  I was in a relationship.  For several years.  With another woman.  She was the only girl I saw, though she was free to see other people.  But not me, I couldn't.  I was loyal and faithful.  I'm not sure if she would have minded if I saw other people, I mean I could've asked.  But I couldn't have done it behind her back.  She would have known it the second she saw me, it would be written all over my face.  And I didn't need to see anyone else.  She was enough for me.  Always made time for me, always knew exactly what I wanted and needed.  But due to circumstances beyond my control, this relationship has ended.  We aren't together any more.  All those years of time spent together, secrets shared...Gone...And I'm devastated.

So there are a few relationships in my world that are sacred. These relationships include, but are not limited to:
* One's relationship with his or her parent(s)
* One's relationship with his or her sibling(s)
* One's relationship with his or her Best Friend
* One's relationship with his or her SO
* One's relationship with his or her hair dresser
Ya. That's right. I said it. One of the most sacred relationships that I have in my life is with the girl who colors and cuts my hair. I should actually say was...See, my fantastically amazing hair dresser has decided to go back to school to pursue education for an awesome career change, and continuing to do hair just wasn't conducive to her schooling. I can't say that I blame her, nor can I say that I didn't see it coming. I mean, she's been doing my hair for years and in that time I have had the privilege of getting to know her.
She has been there for me through relationships, joy, sorrow, job interviews, job changes, crisis, anger, anxiety, love (falling in and falling out), lust (falling in and falling out), travel, and just day to day life. We had a standing every five-and-a-half-weeks appointment. And I learned about her life, too. I knew about her parents, her boyfriend, her dogs, her housing situation. I knew that she was considering a career change. I knew her fears, goals, and aspirations, just as she knew all this about me. Our sessions always began with a quick overview of what I wanted done. This conversation typically ended with “do whatever you think." And I meant it. It wasn't apathy, it was confidence. I could walk in, tell her to do what she wanted, and I knew I was in good hands. I have been blonde, light blonde, dark blonde, red, almost brown...And I have loved every single moment. After the business end of things, we could catch up on life from last that we saw each other. And it was fabulous. It wasn't just getting my hair done. It was a once-a-nearly-every-six week therapy session that ended with new hair and a new attitude. She's not just good at what she does. She's amazing. She made my hair stylish without being overly stylized. She gave me highlights that were flattering and showed off the cut. She just knew what she was doing. And then she had to go.
I will never forget the day that I got the call from the salon that she worked at informing me that I still had an appointment available, however it would have to be with someone else. I was devastated. Like I said, I knew this day was coming, but I just didn't know exactly when. Heartbroken doesn't even come close to explaining it. Ever the journalist, the first thing I did was contact her to verify that it was true and to see if there was any alternative. I'd pay her $100 to come to my house, could she recommend anyone, did it have to be this way!? It was the worst break up I had experienced in the longest time. It was an "it isn't you, it's me" in the truest sense. It wasn't personal, but oh how it hurt. And after that I came to the realization...This was the kind of relationship that I needed. I needed to replace her. I couldn't live without someone filling that role. And so I did it. I saw someone else.
And I felt guilty and dirty the whole time. Sure, I felt like I was in capable hands. I could tell from her touch that she had done this before. Her initial eye contact and the way she shook my hand let me know that she was on to me. I was speculative and suspicious. Would she know what to do? Would she know what I liked? Would I be satisfied? I mean, I've known the best. I've had the best. Anything else is just settling.
So for the time being I stand at a crossroads. I am due for another cut and color in a couple of weeks, and I'm weighing and considering my options. Whenever I see a cut or color that I love, I ask the fortunate person who his or her stylist is and if they would recommend them. When people have a sacred relationship with their hair dresser, they are happy to recommend them. Sometimes I believe that in relationships like these, people don't want to share the information. However, with sacred hair dresser relationships, we want our stylist to be successful. We want to give them the praise and credit. Sure, it's my hair, but my hair is nothing without my hair dresser. So I'm looking. I mean, I'm in a relationship, but it is complicated at best. Once you have that taste of freedom, you have to see what is out there. But I'll always remember what she and I had...
What ties do you have to those once-every-five-and-a-half-weeks people in your life? Who are the people that matter to you through those peripheral relationships that matter so much? I know I'm not the only one who considers the hair dresser relationship sacred, but I know there are others out there as well. What is your hair tie?

tying up loose ends

So the theme for the month of February through the fabulous people of NaBloPoMo is ties. When I read this topic back in January I was super excited, creative, reinvigorated, and ready to get back to blogging. Today is now February 15 and I, obviously, have not participated at all. However I have high hopes for finishing off strong.
Because of this, my topic for today is tying up loose ends. I feel one blogging shoe has fallen to the floor, and I'd like to recollect myself before the other shoe drops as well. I am very much a creature of tying up loose ends. I do not like to leave projects or work unfinished. I would rather stay at work late to finish up what I am doing than to file it away and trying to get to it tomorrow. When I would write a paper or work on a project for school, I was far more successful when I would plug away at it than complete it bits at a time. I figure that while you're in the mode, why not just go for it. While attitude does ensure that work gets completed, I do wonder if this philosophy might not be detrimental in other ways...I'm not sure that I always appreciate the process, acknowledge milestones, take time to reflect, or really involve myself in the process. I want to finish one task so I can begin the next. I'm not necessarily the kid in class who rushes through a test because I want to be the first one done, but I am the one who wants to do it, do it right, and do it right now so that I can say as much and move on to the next thing.
Because of this typical mode of operation, I am disappointed in myself that I let go of the blogging. I really enjoy it and like having the outlet. So I'm going to give it a go again. I have lots of ideas and lots of stories to share, so hopefully that will keep me going. I definitely have some loose ends to tie up, and the tying starts today.